Old Man Naps. Dangerous.

Yesterday I thought I was so clever, so sneaky, but my 1 year old brutally put an end to intellectual smugness. Like always, she had woken me up at ridiculous o’clock and howled like an entire pack of desert wolves from an old cowboy movieĀ until I agreed to play Duplo (the big lego blocks that are kinda fun but also kinda useless because every vehicle we build ends up looking like a box factory full of boxes being joined together by other boxes) with her. I figured that while she was engrossed in destroying the fuselage of the spaceship I had built (ie. the 2 rectangles at the front as opposed to the 3 rectangles at the back) I would take a little sneaky old man nap next to her on the carpet. As I’m sure you have already guessed by my drawing, I was abruptly awoken from my brief slumber by a savage blow to the groin by the stupid box-factory spaceship (which to its credit, actually stayed fully intact during its high velocity re-entry back to planet “Ricks-Crotch” – credit where credit is due to Duplo for its quality craftsmanship). As a new dad, this was my first experience with groin-shot but I have a dreadful feeling that it wont be my last. Given that we would like to one day have child number 2 (although my groin is now having a serious ambivalence dilemma regarding its stance on this notion) I’m seriously considering wearing a jock-strap and groin protector on a regular basis. Probably need a throat guard too. Actually, I think its best if I just start wearing my entire hockey gear all day, every day, 24-7. Brilliant!

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