Never. Have. Hangover.

I have a public service announcement for parents – be responsible, and don’t drink alcohol. Not because of the health implications (although I’m enjoying my journey of getting fit and healthy and actually think that avoiding booze for that reason is pretty legit) but because of the nasty, nasty ramifications of having a hangover in the presence of a 1 year old (or 2 year old or 3 year old or most likely any year old if I’m not mistaken). Trust me. Don’t have a hangover. Ever. I think there is some sort of magical evolutionary mechanism that children have which significantly enhances their ability to find and sustain the perfect pitch, frequency, repetition, cadence, velocity, tempo, variance and decibel level to completely and utterly smash any ability to function as a living organism when one is hungover. My daughter seemed to have a sixth sense for which pots to bang on, what sort of cry to belt out and which eyeball to poke for maximum impact (turns out it was the left one). And to make matters worse, she totally can feel my pain and finds it thoroughly hilarious. I have a horrible, nagging feeling that she is consciously getting payback for the other night where I forced her to stay at the table and eat her vegetables. The fact that she woke me up at 5:45am by jamming half a head of cauliflower into my slightly ajar mouth tells me that this indeed has been a day of retribution and revenge. Hats off to you my clever daughter, you win this round… and I hope you enjoy tonight’s dinner of brussel sprouts and cod liver oil. Mwahahaha!

Leave a Reply